This truly does describe me to a freakin T.  Scary.

Personality

 Occupying the 9th position on the Chinese Zodiac, the Monkey possesses such character traits as curiosity, mischievousness, and cleverness. Forever playful, Monkeys are the masters of practical jokes. Even though their intentions are always good, this desire to be a prankster has a tendency to create ill will and hurt feelings. Although they are inherently intellectual and creative, Monkeys at times have trouble exhibiting these qualities. When that happens, they appear to others to be confused. But nothing could be further from the truth as Monkeys thrive on being challenged. Monkeys prefer urban life to rural, and their favorite pastime is people-watching.

 Health

 Believing that being sick is a waste of a valuable day, Monkeys very rarely feel ill. Their constantly active lifestyles are likely what helps Monkeys remain in good health. When Monkeys do become ill, such feelings are generally the result of feeling nervous.

 Career

 When it comes to work, Monkeys can do just about anything. They adapt well to changing environments and they’re very intelligent. They work quickly, but they’ll frequently charge double for their services. Good career fields for Monkeys are accounting and banking. Other good careers for Monkeys include: scientist, engineer, stock market trader, air traffic controller, dealer, film director, jeweler and sales representative.

 Relationships

 When it comes to relationships, Monkeys aren’t quick to settle down. In fact, they generally are promiscuous; a tendency that probably has to do with the fact that Monkeys are easily bored. Monkeys will end this type of behavior once they pair up with the perfect partner. In fact, more often than not, they’ll commit to that person in every way for life.

 Monkeys and the 5 elements

Earth Monkey – Years 1908 and 1968 * this is me.

 Always the community activists, Earth Monkeys have an inherent desire to live life the “right” way. They’re very dependable and they take their work and their relationships seriously. In fact, they put forth 100% effort in everything they do. In return, Earth Monkeys expect respect from others.

 Compatibility

 Monkeys are compatible with a Rat or Dragon and incompatible with a Horse or Snake.

But I digress

There’s two inside this undecided head of mine
And callous eyes can only hide behind a grin
Yet I keep up the charade some days and parade
Like none can stand before my sword; but my words
Tomorrow will speak volumes of a broken heart

It will stitch itself

Or so I say, today, when tomorrow’s light starts pale
But grows into a hurricane of solemn vows to stand my ground
Upon a sea of fading hopes and dreams
In hope that once again my faithful friend will rear his head
To take up the cause of happy thoughts and peaceful dreamless sleep

The two dance on until I’m gone, lost behind
A painful sigh of time better spent in an evident haze
The days and nights cause butterfly flight to wax and wane
Pain which comes and goes and not even I know
Why it never stays

My shattered front is filled with fresh blood
A new recruit which takes up a stained sword
He wields it with no hesitation

It will stitch itself

But a warrior falls again tomorrow
And is replaced with a threadless needle
I can’t go on like this
This graceless dance of tasteless facades
I hide my heart from even my eyes
But I try, and I pry, only to find
This world ain’t big enough for the two of us

Are you a rock today, or have you fallen again?

On the homefront, same ole same ole, never enough time, no desire, no intiative….all of which leaves me feeling lost, alone, neglected, and looking….none of which I can deal with very well on my own. But what can you do?? Conversation after conversation after conversation with no action and where do we go from here?? Too much confusion inside….along with feeling unwanted, ugly and unused makes for a very unhappy girl.

And worse I feel like I have to keep it to myself because after talking it to death and nothing happening where does that leave me??

Bad day indeed.

And Im tired. Tired of work, tired of feeling under appreciated, tired of being stuck in one place and just spinning wheels going nowhere, just plain ole tired and emotionally drained because of it.

Hopefully tommorrow will be a better day, but as for today, I just say, fuck em’ all.

Happy Anniversay.

16 years and honest to god it still feels just like yesterday…

I can clearly intimately and mentally “feel” how I feel for you and it has only ever gotten better and better.  Don’t get me wrong , we have rough spots….but even then, those roughspots are not really anything…at least nothing like Ive had before….

I can honestly say I am MORE IN LOVE with you now then I ever was…and it just keeps gettting better and better and WE keep getting better and better…

I want nothing more then to please you, to make you smile, to make you want me…..to make you happy on the inside….I have never wanted to serve anyone else in my life….you bring out the very best in me and allow me to be me and room to breathe…

I love you very much….and not just the “master” but the man…..

you are every woman’s dream…..no joke….

I hope the next 16 are just as passionate and full of growth and learning and that we continue on this path moving together in the same direction….cause in the end…your all I need.  Not money, not things, just you and me, in this dynamic….together… shudders. 

Happy Anniversary…and heres to many more…..Muuuuuaaaah.